Define
by Mrs. HopeEstheim
Summary: The heart of her problem; she thought those words could define who she was. Natsu sets out to prove her wrong. NaLu. T for language. BEING REWRITTEN AND CONTINUED. Please re-read.


**NOTE: I have completely reworked this chapter. Well, not completely, but I've added about 500 words and changed things here and there. I finally have a better plot idea for the story, so I can finally start the process of reworking the chapters and re-posting the first few. I have a direction now, so it shouldn't be too hard.**

**So...thank you for reading and I hope you understand! **

**Here is the reworked chapter one of _Define_!**

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><p>There were many things that Lucy Heartfilia took for granted.<p>

She knew that no matter what happened, her friends and comrades at Fairy Tail would always, _always_, protect her. She knew that Natsu would never let her leave, and would go to any lengths to save her if she was in trouble. He was that kind of friend; her very best friend in the entire world. Gray would do the same, and so would Erza or Mira or anyone else in the guild…but Natsu was her best friend, the one most likely to step in when she needed him. Lucy took for granted that she would always have these people around her, to protect her from the outside world.

Not that she always needed protection, but it was nice to know she had it.

That protection didn't help her block out what the world said about her, about how they—Natsu—always saved her. It didn't stop her from hearing that random pedestrians, normal people, thought she was just on the team because of her…_assets_, her measurements. And it definitely didn't stop her from realizing that many of the things they called her weren't very nice at all.

And it hurt. More than she had ever expected it to.

_Cheerleader,_ they called her. A _mascot._

They said she was _useless_ and they said she was _weak._

And a _whore, _a _slut._

Lucy rolled over and buried her face in her pillow, trying to fight back whatever tears might try to come. She had been called many things since she had started to actually listen, and some hurt worse than others did or ever would. At first, being around her nakama had made it easier for the names to just roll off of her, as if there was no effect at all. But after a while…it just _hurt_.

_Princess._

Princess. Why did Princess hurt? It didn't when Virgo said it, but when that mage…with his condescending tone and that lecherous sneer…it sent shivers up the blonde's spine. Was it because it implied that she was pampered? That she always needed bodyguards or protection around her? Was it because it was implying that she was helpless...even...

_Useless._

_Weak._

_Get out of my head_, she wanted to scream. _Leave me alone_! What had she ever done to them, that they felt they could say such things about her?

_Useless._

"I'm not," she choked out loud, the sound muffled against her soft pillow. "I'm not useless!"

Somehow, the words sounded empty.

_They don't need you_.

Why couldn't she just…_forget_? Forget everything that they had ever said about her. Wouldn't her heart stop hurting if she did?

Why did she even have to start listening to the words in the first place? She could have gone for the rest of her life, blissfully oblivious to the slanderous remarks that people were saying behind her back because she'd be surrounded by everyone. All of her days in Fairy Tail could have been happy and carefree for the most part, had she not listened to the whispers and wondered _do they think the same way_? Or even, _is there any reason I should stay_?

She felt so _awful. _She should have had more faith in all of her friends...but it was just so hard. Everything hurt too much...so much that it made her question things she would never have questioned before, like the intentions of her dearest comrades, or their true thoughts about her.

The soft material beneath her grasping fingers was no longer dry. The pillow she clutched was saturated with her frustrated tears, and she could not bring herself to stop just yet.

"The next name will be _crybaby_," she told herself disdainfully, choking back a sob for just a brief moment. "_Ugly_. They'll probably even call me a _gold digger_!"—though she didn't know how they'd call her a gold digger, when she wasn't interested in Macao, Wakaba, or the Master in the least. At least in _that_ sense. But rumormongers had their ways of spreading untrue statements around so well that they seemed to be fact, so she had no doubt it could pop up. No...she was almost certain that it would.

_Spoiled_.

_Rich snob._

"No!" she said into her pillow. She wasn't spoiled, not anymore. Not since she left her house and her fortunes and her father's business went bankrupt. Not since her father had died while she was on Tenrou Island...she hadn't been spoiled or filthy rich. And even if she seemed a bit snobbish sometimes, it was usually only in jest, or just because she was in a bad mood. But she wasn't that way anymore.

_Useless_.

She didn't want to be useless; she didn't! But the more she thought about it, the more the blonde believed it. What _did _she do for them? Scream and run and have to have Natsu come save her ass? That couldn't exactly be counted as beneficial for the team. So did that mean she really was what all those people called her? _Weak_? _Useless_? Was she just a _cheerleader _or a _mascot_?

Was that all...she really was...?

_Whore. _

_Slut._

_Busty. _

_**Whore.**_

No! It couldn't be; that _wasn't_ what she was. Lucy Heartfilia prided herself on not whoring around. She _was_ busty, that was for sure, but how did that make her a whore? Why did they call her that? _Whore. Slut._ Why did they all call her something that she wasn't? Just because a girl has a rather large chest doesn't mean she's loose. She pretended to be provocative to get her way sometimes, she'd admit, but that didn't mean...she wasn't...she had _morals_, damn it! And besides, how could Lucy be a whore when her virginity was still intact?

Lucy's fingers hurt from clutching her pillow so tightly, but she didn't release it as her shoulders began the telltale shaking that would let any unwelcome visitors know she was crying. _If_ the muffled sobs weren't enough to get that picture across, anyway. So she was thankful that Natsu had headed to his home early tonight, and that Gray and Erza rarely showed up uninvited at night like the dragonslayer did, anyway. She'd have her time to cry herself to sleep, get up, bathe, and set her face to rights again before anyone would ever know.

But really, when was Lucy ever lucky?

She hadn't even heard him land in the window.

"Luce…?"

The blonde let out a half-scream, half-sob and released the pillow with aching fingers and waved at him viciously.

"Go away!" she cried. She didn't want him to see her now, when she was at her most vulnerable. She didn't want him to ask her what was wrong, because then she'd actually have to _say_ it. And she didn't want to, not yet. It would be too much like admitting that it was true (even if there were certain ones that she herself believed). If he wanted to know what was wrong with her, she reasoned with herself, he could always ask Levy tomorrow, because Levy knew. Levy always knew things like that.

"Levy said you'd gone home when I went back 'cause I couldn't sleep," he remarked, and she felt her bed dip down from where he sat on it. "She said you were upset, so I came to check up on you."

He was glad he had, too. From the way she sounded, she'd been crying…crying as if she really was letting everything get to her, just like Levy had said.

"Go _away!_" Lucy repeated, though even she knew she didn't want him to leave, and she suspected that he knew it, too. If there was one thing she could say about Natsu, it was that he could always read her better than most...even better than Levy.

"Luce…"

He wasn't going to leave; that was Natsu for you. Stubborn but loyal, almost to a fault, and she wouldn't have him any other way. Even if she told him to leave, she wanted him to stay. And he did. But still she turned herself around and faced him, sitting up. She didn't want him to see her like this, but she'd try to be strong; she'd hold on tightly to the vain hope that a woman's tears would scare him away, like so many other men.

But then...Natsu wasn't a normal man, was he?

"I said _leave_," Lucy tried in her most venomous tone, but the overall effect was ruined by the way her voice broke as a sob bubbled up. But he did the opposite of what she asked and made a show of getting comfortable by planting his bottom even more firmly on her soft, comfy mattress.

"I'm not going anywhere until you're feeling better, Luce!" he grinned at her with his usual happy-go-lucky attitude, and the blonde wanted to cry even harder. Why was he so damn nice to her, even when she was trying to push him away for right now? But it was Natsu, and that's just the kind of person he was.

She liked that about him.

"I'm not in the mood, Natsu!" she protested, turning away so he wouldn't see that she needed him there. Just his presence could bring her some form of comfort. Really...she wasn't very true to herself. She _wanted_ him here, and she was so glad he'd come to her, but here she was, telling him to leave and being rude to him. She knew he saw through it, and part of her was thankful for it, but another part of her wished he couldn't see through her so well so she'd learn to say what she really wanted. But instead, she repeated, "Go away," rather than _I need you._

"They're just words," he said, reaching out to hug her. She fought against his embrace for a few brief seconds, then fell against him, shoulders shaking. He continued, "just words. They don't define who you are, Luce."

Natsu could see it clearly. He could always see when she was fighting with herself, when she was being dishonest to herself. The way she gave into him so quickly was proof that she still couldn't say what she wanted to when she was in her more vulnerable state...but he didn't mind.

"That's the problem!" Lucy said, trying in vain to push herself away from him. It didn't work. "Words define _everything_! A definition is just a sentence of _words_ describing another word! And since words define _everything_, then I'm defined by them, too!"

The salmon-haired man blinked confusedly for a second, and then it struck him.

The heart of her problem; she thought the words could define who she was. Natsu furrowed his brow in realization, an action she couldn't see, and thought carefully about his next words. If he didn't say this just right, she'd probably take it the wrong way, and in her current condition he couldn't risk that.

"If any words can define you, Lucy, those _definitely_ aren't the right ones."

He was so _nice_, Lucy thought. She'd always known it, but this was a different way of showing it than she had ever seen him do. But he didn't have to lie to her like that; he could just tell her honestly if he thought the same as all the other people did. If he thought that she was weak and useless. She didn't need his pity. Lucy didn't need that from him or rather, she couldn't bear to have it from him.

"Don't lie," she sniffled, but didn't try to escape his grasp. His arms were so warm, so comfortable…why didn't she just push him away? Why didn't he just let her go when she was so rude to him?

"I'm not lying," he said, pulling her back and forcing her chocolate eyes up to meet his coal-black ones. "I'm not, Luce. You're not anything that they said—except for busty, but that's kind of obvious—so don't think about it too much. If words did define who you are, I think they'd be exact opposites of those."

She didn't ask why he sounded like he knew what _those_ words were; he had talked to Levy, after all. That meant he probably _did_ know what words they were, and the fact that he'd mentioned the busty comment proved he knew at least some of them. Lucy didn't smack him for mentioning her chest like she might have were she in a better position to do so.

"I bet you can't find a hundred words that can define me better than _weak_ and _useless_ can," came the pessimistic words out of her mouth before she could stop them, punctuated by small sniffles. Tears still fell down her porcelain cheeks, leaving wet, glistening streaks and drips that clung to her eyelashes. She didn't see the furrow between his brows, the brief, silent anger he showed because someone had dared call his most precious nakama—aside from Happy—hurtful things that made her cry when she thought she was alone at night. So many things that didn't fit her at all…

But _what _could he do…?

And then it hit him. He didn't know if it would work, but he'd have to try.

"I'll take you up on that," Natsu said, pulling her back to him and stroking her back gently, "I bet I _can_."

This side of Natsu was so different than she was used to. He was so caring and gentle, almost intimate. It was a side that a girl like Lucy could definitely fall for.

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><p><strong>End chapter one.<strong>

**EDIT: I've made some edits to this chapter. I don't know if it's made it worse or better…but I'm reworking what I've got because I now have a primary plot point in mind! YES! Haha.**


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